


you are anonymous; i am a concrete wall

by GKB



Category: Morning Glories
Genre: Coney Island, Freeform, Happy Ending, Hunter makes an appearance, Jade-centric, Sunburns, Visions, flashbacks and flashforwards, time traveling, weird formatting, what if Jade met Ike as a kid, young Ike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 11:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11850231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GKB/pseuds/GKB
Summary: "Maybe it's your penance." Ike suggests offhandedly, putting it in terms he's sure she'll understand because of her Catholic school upbringing that he loves to bring up."I guess." She agrees, her shivering form tiny against the mass of blankets, "But I still don't know what I'm paying for."





	you are anonymous; i am a concrete wall

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to one of my other stories: "aren't you curious as to how it ends?"  
> Deals with more of Jade's visions and the scene on Coney Island I couldn't get out of my head. Oh, and the title is borrowed from the amazing song: "Smoke Signals" by Phoebe Bridgers which seems like it was written specifically for Jade Ellsworth!

The rain pounds against the window like feet do against the pavement. 

It's so l o u d. Jade rolls over and covers her ears because she swears the sound is resonating inside her mind. She has a headache. (Because of how loud the storm is outside. It has nothing to do with the fact that Ike shared some liquor from his private confiscated collection yesterday.)

It sounds heavy enough to be hail, Jade thinks, but they never get any extreme weather at the Academy. It's too large to be rain though. 

(What  
else  
could  
be  
f  
a  
l  
l  
i  
n  
g  
from  
the  
sky?) 

Jade is in her own bed, sheets pooling around her. That's a comfort at least. She can see out the window, into the looming darkness, so she knows she safe with Casey snoring across the room from her and not locked in the basement. 

Jade needs to sleep. That's not something she's been accomplishing much of lately. With dreaming comes v i s i o n s, with vision comes smoke. And fog. Screams. Terror. Miracles. Flames. Violence. Birth. Disaster. Climbing. Crashing. Crumbling-

She heard her mother's voice in her head warning her to take better care of herself. The tone is warm and sympathetic and makes Jade ache for home. So she does better. Jade eats, showers, and dresses herself like there's no tomorrow.

Which there might not be.  
The s t a r s are getting c l o s e r and  
c l o s e r but nobody seems to notice how tilted the night sky is. 

Jade has people looking out for her, which she thinks would make her mother so happy. In fact, if she could sit down with her mom, even for five minutes, that's what she would want to tell her about.  
Jade can handle the Academy and the nightmares and the near death experiences. But she would want her mom to know about Casey's easy smile, how Hunter is always a day late and a dollar short, and even about some of Ike's stupid one liners that she enjoys more then she will ever let on. 

Casey drags her to class and lends her notes for all the times she zones out during lectures. Jade doesn't see the point in it anymore, but she follows her blonde best friend anyway. When Jade wakes up s c r e a m i n g, a pair of arms always find her immediately and Casey hugs her tightly like she's trying to hold Jade together.

Casey Blevins is always holding things together. It's her superpower. Jade used to think she was the goddess Athena in a past life. Casey was strategic, brilliant, and wise, but now Jade found a better comparison. Casey is like Atlas. Always carrying the world on her shoulders. Always bearing everyone's burdens for them. 

A t l a s is also the one who holds up the s k y. 

Jade tries not to think about the little silver streaks in the sky. She almost mentions it to Casey a million times, but she can never quite put it into words. The redhead is sure that when the sky does fall and the stars c r a s h into the Academy and burn it to the ground, it'll be Casey who is able to l i f t the sky back into place.

Jade and Hunter have more in common then just the obvious crimson colored hair. They both would do anything for Casey. The both have v i s i o n s neither one will speak of. Hunter confides in her about losing his mom, and she does the same. He's always checking up on Jade after she tells him about the car accident, in his endearingly awkward way. He keeps her busy with board games she's pretty sure he invented with makeshift pieces and trinkets from around campus. They find an old television that still works, but can't watch anything other then educational science videos she found in one of the closets. Her friendship with Hunter is easy and mundane and keeps her mind off her nightmares. 

"You should probably get some sleep." A voice calls over the sound of the storm outside. Ike leans in the doorway, drink in hand and scarf hanging loosely around his popped collar. It's not a terrible suggestion but he makes it sound so judgmental.

"You should probably get back to your room. Unless you want the guards to catch you and bash your head in. Again." Jade whispers in a quiet tone, trying not to stir her sleeping roommate. She's pretty sure the bruises on Ike's collar bone still haven't disappeared from where he got smacked by one of the guards. The sight didn't amuse her as much as it should have.

"Don't tell me how to live my life, Red. I do wonder, how long can a human survive without sleep? I must assume you're attempting to beat the world record for staying awake, because this is getting ridiculous. You look like a zombie."  
He laughs shortly, but there's some concern buried in his tone, "What, are you afraid of the dark or something?"

N o, Jade wants to shout, I A M  
A F R A I D O F ME. I A M A F R A I D O F W H A T I B E C O M E.  
She wants to carve it into her skull and let all the visions pour out of her until there's nothing left in her head. She never wants to see the woman she becomes again.

"I guess I just have a lot on my mind." She lies and she wants so desperately to ask what Ike dreams of. She wants to know what fears knock at his door. She wants to know what he saw that had him screaming in Abraham's cell.

I r e m e m b e r h o w y o u c u t m e o p e n- 

"Well, I happen to know a way to get everything off your mind, and I happen to be just drunk enough to lower my standards. You know where to find me if decide you want to find a better use of your time then staring out the window." He clicks his tongue at her and starts to saunter off the way he came. Jade wonders how long he had been watching her.

It's an offer he's made a dozen times before, and ones she's taken him up on more times she can count. It shouldn't please her as much as it does, the fact that she's the only one he breaks his rule about repeats for. She thinks sometimes Ike likes having her around more then he would ever admit.

"Wait." She calls, loud enough that it stretches down the hall but not enough to wake Casey. There's nothing worse then disrupting the blonde's sleep schedule. It's terrifying. 

Ike turns around grinning, as if he was expecting the call. Jade really hopes she isn't that predictable. There's something about him that makes her willpower seem to shrink. She always tells herself she gives in to Ike to easily. That's she too quick to forgive him. Well, it's actually Casey who's always muttering that under her breath, but she does has a point. His eyes are like glaciers, even in the dark. 

There's just s o m e t h i n g about him. Jade can't explain it. That's his superpower. He just gets her. Ike understands Jade in a way nobody else does. Gets to her too, he can infuriate her to no end. But for everything he's done, she can't find it in herself to stay away from him. 

"I see things sometimes. Terrible things. I don't want to fall asleep because I know they'll be waiting for me." She admits and then she crosses her legs like she used to when she was a child. Jade looks down at him from the top bunk, and he staring out the window with a cold expression. Ike seems a million miles away. 

Does he see the way the sky s h a k e s and the stars are s l i p p i n g or if he just looking at the precipitation hitting the window?

"Maybe it's your penance." Ike suggests offhandedly, putting it in terms he's sure she'll understand because of her Catholic school upbringing that he loves to bring up.  
"I guess." She agrees, her shivering form tiny against the mass of blankets, "But I still don't know what I'm paying for." 

(but G O D said,  
‘You shall not eat  
of the fruit of the tree that is  
in the midst of the g a r d e n, neither shall you touch it.  
For God knows that when you e a t from it your e y e s will be opened,  
and you will be l i k e God,  
knowing g o o d and e v i l.) 

This isn't what they do. Holding each other, that's Casey and Hunter nonsense. As for Ike? He feels pretty indifferent about the way her heart hammers against his and how she always gives off heat like a furnace, so they don't even need blankets. His eyes b a r e l y linger on her sleeping face and he definitely doesn't note the way she looks when she's in a deep slumber. He would never describe Jade as beautiful. Ike has slept with dozens of models and she'll never hold a candle to half of them. But she looks peaceful like this and it makes him feel something in his chest. Or it would. If Ike had a kind or tender bone in his body. Which he doesn't. This isn't what he was hoping for when he stumbled up to her room. 

So why did Ike slip under the covers next to her? Easy. If he stays, she'll get some sleep, and filled with overflowing gratitude, be more likely to sleep with him the next time he asks. 

Jade leans into his chest and his arm wraps around her so her head is cradled against him. She's out like a light in a matter of seconds and Ike t h i n k s. 

He's not good at much and he can't figure out what it is about h i m that helps her keep the nightmares away. 

 

Jade is d r e a m i n g. She knows this because she isn't wearing any shoes, and for some reason she's always barefoot in her visions.

She's standing on a boardwalk. It takes a moment for the scene to become clear in front of her: the screams she heard are from people above her twisting and turning on the rollercoaster, the gun shots are from the stripped tent full of carnival games, and the smoke drifting through the air is coming from a machine near the haunted house. 

The air smells like salt. Jade sees an expanse of blue out in front of her, beating relentlessly against the the edge of the dock. She's never seen the ocean before. She never had much of an opportunity in her land locked state.  
Pelicans are circling overhead, and Jade finally finds the strength to move forward, eyeing the venders carefully as she begins to look for a trace of anything familiar. 

Coney Island.

There's no sign of Older-Jade anywhere. Dr. Ellsworth usually show up in most of Jade's visions to guide her. She doesn't know if that should be a relief or not. Why is she here? What's so important about this place that her mind is showing it to her? 

The neon lights illuminate the walkway even though it's the middle of the day. The crowd of people sink in and out around her, and Jade gets d i z z y from watching the carousel spin. 

She's not supposed to be here. There's loose sand stuck in between her toes, and her skin is so pale that she can feel the sun blistering against it. Jade is wearing a bathing suit. She doesn't even own one of those. 

T h e 

o l d g o d s  
abandoned us. JADE  
we had  
to  
make our o w n-

 

There's a young boy sitting on a bench at the end of the pier, his eyes puffy, like he had been crying, but his expression is hardened like stone as he looks out at the water.

And his eyes-

They're b l u e like g l a c i e r s.

Jade writes about everything. She scribbles poems in the margins of her notebook about anything and everything, but never Ike. Partly because she wouldn't want to ever give him the satisfaction of knowing she thinks about him, and partially because she's worried she could write an entire series just about his e y e s. 

She approaches the bench as she would a wild animal. Reasonably, Jade understands that Ike must have been a child at some point, but in her remind, she always just pictured him coming out of the womb with vodka in hand and his hair gelled in perfectly place. She could never imagine Ike as anything other the sleazy teenager she knows.

The boy doesn't look at her when she sits down next to him. If anything, he turns his head slightly away so she can't see the evidence of his tears. He's so small. Jade can't believe it.  
She's never been good with kids and she doesn't know what to say. Ike- her Ike- is always the one to jump in and fill the gaps in conversation. Not her Ike as in he belongs to Jade. Gross. She means present day-Ike. The Ike that's back at the Academy. 

"You come here often?" He says, and she's too distracted by how squeaky his voice sounds to roll her eyes at his comment. The boy tilts his head at her, as if he's trying to memorize every freckle on her face.  
"No, actually." She tries to smile politely so he doesn't think she's a kidnapper or something, "This is my first time here. How about you? Are you here with your parents?"  
"My mother and Raul left for vacation. So my father took me to the pier for the day since I haven't seen him for a while. He's very busy with work." Ike explains, glancing around him again, as if he's searching for someone in the crowd, "But he had to leave."  
"Oh. He left you here alone?" Jade realizes, and then she connects the dots from his tears to his father's departure.  
"It appears so." Ike responds, and he sounds resigned to the fact. Not angry or disappointed, just like it's another fact of life. Jade is always impressed with how well Ike is able to mask his emotions, unlike her, who bursts out crying more often then she would like to admit. Jade never imagined that was a skill he had mastered at such a young age.  
"Have we met before?" Ike asks her, quickly changing the subject. There's an edge to his voice, and he's sounds like the sharp and inquisitive boy she's used to dealing with.

Jade almost says yes. They met three years ago. Or is that incorrect? They will meet when they're sixteen, and he must be about eight now. That means they won't meet for another eight years. Jade doesn't understand the rules of time traveling or visions, so she just sticks her hand out.

"I'm Jade. I'm not really from around here. What's your name?"  
He crosses his legs to face her, and it doesn't seem like he missed the fact that she ignored his question.  
"Ike."  
"Well, Ike, I got separated from my parents once. My situation was a little different, but I know how scary it can be when you're lost and alone." She feels a sunburn start growing in her shoulder, and she tries to duck out of the sun's path into shade. His expression doesn't soften at all and Jade worries that she said the wrong thing.  
"I'm not scared. I can take care of myself." He corrects her quickly, "My mother doesn't really like me. I set the curtains on fire and got her kicked out of Martha's Vineyard. My father isn't around. I watch my own back." It sounds rehearsed.  
"You sure do." She laughs under her breath, remembering all the times he sabotaged them. Young Ike doesn't notice that he missed out on the joke. 

"You look terrible." The boy comments, studying the dark shadows running around her eyes with particular interest.  
"You're not looking so hot right now either." She flicks his arm.  
"My mother always says that sarcasm is the absolute lowest form of wit."  
"Sarcasm is an art, and like all art, only certain people are able to appreciate it."  
That comment seems to win his approval, because he slides over, cutting the space between them in half.  
"Jade," He says her name like a question, like he's testing it out, "Do you like the ocean?"

They both pause for a minute and peer out at the waves. Jades not sure what she's supposed to be looking for. It's the same shade of rolling blue waves rising and falling against the shore, but Ike watches it so intently she thinks she must be missing something. 

That's when she notices it. The feeling of dread she's been carrying around, the one that burrowed it's way into her chest, is gone. 

The sky is completely s t i l l for the first time in what feels like a lifetime. 

"I've actually never been to it before. I didn't live near the ocean. It's... Intimidating." It's the only word she can conjure up to describe the vastness and mystery of it all.  
"I don't like the ocean. I can't trust it. It's always changing."  
"Sometimes change is good. In life, you have to evolve and keep moving. Because things aren't always fair or easy."  
Ike nods his head thoughtfully, and it seems like he knows all too well what she means.  
"My father said he comes here to think. That's why we came here today. He had something on his mind. Is that why you came here, Jade? Is there something on your mind?" And then in a voice a tad too innocent, "You can tell me if you want to." 

The redhead pauses. It would be so easy, too easy, actually. She could warn Ike about the Academy. She could save him, and tell him to find her. Young-Jade. They wouldn't have to be prisoners and sacrifice everything.  
She could set it all r i g h t. 

"That's a terrible idea." Another voice mutters from behind her. 

E v e r y t h i n g f r e e z e s.

Jade finds herself face to face with a woman. Serious, fox-like, with long wispy hair, and incredibly intense eyes that meet hers.  
Jade has seen her before. She knows her. But from where? The freckles, the gleaming eyes, the fire buried somewhere deep inside-

"Hello Dr. Ellsworth." Jade mutters contemptuously. Even the birds circling overhead are frozen in place. The chaos of the pier has quieted.

"A r e y o u l i s t e n i n g JADE?" The doctors replies, but her voice sounds like it's on another frequency.

"If you warn him, then neither one of you will ever be sent to the Academy, but Ike w i l l overdose before his twenty first birthday and we don't make it h a l f as long. We set a fire in the barn and get trapped in the flames." The woman saunters over to the bench across them and smoothes out the invisible wrinkles in pencil skirt. Jade doesn't trust this woman. Not a bit.

"It doesn't matter either way. This is all in my head. I'm not really on Coney Island and that's not really young Ike. This is a dream."

It's a d r e a m. Look are your feet, Jade, she tells herself. You're b a r e f o o t. 

"You're right. This is in your head. But that doesn't mean it's not r e a l."

W h a t i s r e a l i t y?

"You have five minutes." The doctor glances at her watch and then the carousel starts spinning again, and the ocean bursts to life. Ike is peering up at her with his hands folded in his lap. They're alone on the end of the pier. 

"It took me a long time to learn this lesson, Ike, but it's important one." She pictures Jimmy's concerned face when she slammed the door on him for the millionth time, and the way her father's heart broke every time he got a call from the sheriff. "It's ok to let people help you once in a while. There's no need to handle everything on your own all the time. You don't have to be Atlas. You don't have to shoulder the burden alone." 

"But that was his punishment, wasn't it? Atlas had to hold the sky up on his own. That was his price to pay." Ike reminds her, sounding far older then he is, as he stares out at the sea, "A sacrifice is always demanded."  
"What did you say?"  
"Nothing." He shakes his head, "You know. I am a little upset. Maybe you could kiss it better?" He grins and then he puckers his lips out at her. 

The first time Jade kissed Ike she left a mark on his neck far worse then anything the guards inflicted, and she shoved him against the lockers so hard that he saw stars. 

"Can you call someone to come get you, Ike? How are you going to find your way home?" Jade gently shoves the little boy back, who looks pretty pleased with his effort. She's worried about leaving him alone here.  
"I've got a credit card. I'm sure I can find my way back." He sounds so confident. Even at this age, Ike already had a fire burning in him.

He was already s e t t i n g them too. 

"Maybe I can call you a cab or something. I don't have a phone..."  
"Jade. Do you know that woman?" Ike jumps up swiftly, peering around her shoulder to inspect the suspicious figure he spotted. She doesn't have to turn around to know who it is.  
"Unfortunately." She mutters, and she wipes away at the sand on his face. He doesn't flinch away like she expects.  
"Is she your mother? She looks like you, Jade." His brow knots in concern. Ike doesn't know why he suddenly feel so anxious.  
"No. Actually, remember when I told you I got separated from my mother? I still haven't found her." 

"You have to leave, don't you?" His voice is quiet and slow. Young Ike frowns ever so slightly. A buzzer blares in the background as someone wins at the ring toss game.  
"I think so." Jade agrees. She's not sure if she was ever r e a l l y here to begin with, "I'm sorry about your father, Ike."  
"Here." He twists around and his short arm pulls something from the pocket of his shorts. It's a dart, with a blue feather tip. Jade stifles a laugh and an ocean breeze whips her hair around.  
"Did you win this?" She asks him cautiously as he drops it into her open palm. It's an odd prize to give to a kid.  
"No." Ike rolls his eyes, "I stole it from the table. It's more fun then actually playing the games." 

Behind them, Dr. Ellsworth purses her lips, clearly amused at watching the two of them.  
"Enough," She says, "Let's get going, Jade. We need to get back soon." 

Jade doesn't have much of a choice. She takes one last look at the Son of Abraham and his innocent blue eyes and wonders how this kid could possibly grow into the boy who held her hand in the cave and pressed a gun against her temple. 

"Will I see you again?" Ike calls after her. 

"Soon enough, I think." 

The air t r e m b l e s and Jade can't stay on her feet. The wind howls around her as she's pulled back, being dragged across the wood deck, but nobody seems to notice.  
Jade is w r a p p e d up in everything around her and the entire universe begins to shift. 

IT'S TIME TO STOP RUNNING 

a voice s c r e a m s

"Jade. C'mon bud. You haven't slept in so long so I let you sleep in, but we're going to be late." Casey tugs on the blankets, already dressed in her uniform with her hair pinned in place.  
The rain pounds against the window like feet do against the burning pavement. It's so l o u d. It's morning at the Academy and it takes Jade a minute to remember where she is. She can't calm her breathing. 

"Did you have a bad dream? Are the nightmares back?" Casey hovers, arms crossed as she slips into protective mode.  
"No, actually. It wasn't a bad dream." Jade exhales, and she s w e a r s her hair almost smells like the ocean, "It wasn't that bad at all." 

Jade hears her mother's voice in her head warning her to take better care of herself. The tone is warm and sympathetic and makes Jade ache for home. So Jade eats and gets dressed and gathers her books as she buttons her blouse.  
"Jade. Where on earth did you get that?"  
"What?" She whips around, wondering if Ike left a hickey somewhere he shouldn't have.  
Then she feels the heat radiating off her shoulder. Jade glances in the mirror and sees the bright pink burn covering the arch of her back.

"How did you possibly get a s u n b u r n?"

 

("Are you sure you've never been here before, Red?" Ike asks her five years later when the Academy is a distant memory in the back of their minds. His arms are full of carnival toys and his pocket is stuffed with darts he swiped off the table when he thought she wasn't looking.  
Jade laughs too loud at the terrible jokes he makes and he grabs her hand as the walk down the pier. He's counted every freckle on her body at least twice and Jade never thought she would like city life as much as she does. 

Ike lets her lead him to a bench at the end of the boardwalk. Jade smiles at the waves because she is no longer a stranger to the sea.  
At the opposite end of the street stands a girl - a woman, fox-like in looks, with crimson hair of shoulder length, freckles, and eyes that match Jade's meet hers.

Jade knows this woman. She has seen her before.

She b l i n k s and the women is gone. That is not the person Jade will become. 

Not anymore. 

They are free and v i s i o n s are a thing of the past. Ike is whispering something about skinny dipping at the beach and complaining that he wanted to be with her during her first trip to Coney Island. The way she's walking around, she must have been here before, he insists. 

"Actually, Ike, I can honestly say you  
w e r e with me for my first visit to Coney Island.")


End file.
